Personal Training, Fitness and Nutrition Motivation

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Fear No Longer Gets in the Way of My Story and Helping Others

For some reason hiding behind our secrets seems to be the easy and almost normal thing to do in life. I'm not immune and in fact guilty of such past behavior. Years of life and wisdom have brought me full circle to being almost too transparent. Hiding is a tiresome process unfounded and stress producing. It feels good to be free and able to share my life and who I am. 

I have learned not to be ashamed of my story because it just might inspire or help someone going through the same things. Everyone will experience circumstances that may or may not be within our control. What we learn from these experiences helps to create who we are. 

Why do we get so caught up in what people think it causes us to hide our true self? Our struggles are left in the closet for fear of rejection. Not being accepted has become more important than sharing what is happening in our life. Fear takes over our ability to share deep struggles. We struggle silently even though we may need help or a listening ear. Sadly, fear of rejection cuts off any chance of gaining a support system through difficult times. The truth is we really don't want people in our life who would reject us for who we are. Life is about building real and meaningful relationships that are positive and supportive. 



In my lifetime, I have hidden the inability to set boundaries. I allowed myself to be mistreated in early marital and boyfriend relationships keeping it all inside. I have been a closet Christian, suffered alone with anxiety, hid my cervical dystonia condition, and in my competitive fitness hid behind a ripped body as being healthy. 

In hindsight, I now see my fear of rejection kept me from being me.  During the time I was unable to set boundaries, I cared more about what people would think or say than my own health. I never wanted to be considered a failure in the eyes of another. I am embarrassed to say at one point, I didn't confess to being a Christian, and just kept it between me and God. I tried to hide my cervical dystonia condition because of the tremor that can sometimes accompany the condition. Suffering from anxiety in my life had been another closet issue I thought others wouldn't understand. 

Years have passed and accepting myself, shedding fear and shame are probably my healthiest accomplishments. Sharing the real me without being guarded has been such a relief and freeing experience. It has allowed me to help so many others suffering in the same ways I once did. My road to self-acceptance wasn't easy or something that happened overnight. Once I learned to open up and gain a support system, it re-defined my life.

I am a firm believer in faith and a positive advocate for a great therapist to assist during difficult times. Learning to love yourself and share your story is not only a healing process, but also opens the door for others to feel comfortable enough to step toward you for help. When fear of rejection is no longer an issue, it opens doors for true contentment to flood your life. 




So many hide behind relationship problems, eating disorders, medical conditions, addictions, money problems, and the list continues. Hiding and handling things alone makes being happy impossible. The majority of us walk around living fake lives with fake smiles. We are so overcome by shame, embarrassment or fear it's no wonder many of us suffer from depression and stress. Hiding behind lies doesn't promote healing or positive growth in our lives. Until we learn how to share our stories with courage, we will not be able to be happy healthy people. We are required to own who we are and to become a better person than yesterday. This takes courage. Sharing your story is the first step. It will not only open the window to healing but also open many doors to inspiring others.   


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Be well and Stay Healthy


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